D-I-V-O-R-C-E

I'm about to divorce May. Enough is enough. I am still heating my house and there are three days until June. This is ridiculous. Not a sun in the sky, not a 60 degree day in sight.

Frankly I am sick of it. I have plans, May, and you are ruining them.

My garden is non existent because of you and your constant rain showers. My lawn is too tall and overgrown from the rain. I can't mow it because IT KEEPS RAINING.

May, you are ruining my life, my tan and my attitude. You have three days to change your ways. I'm warning you, this can't keep going on. I have a life to live and you are hindering my ability to do so.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, please remember that no one was happy with you this year and do not make this a repeat next year.

Shape up or ship out.

I'm serious.

Look at what you're doing to the children, May. Are you happy with yourself? I hope so.